Losing the lost! July 10, 2009

It’s like waking up in the middle of the night, from a wishful dream, knowing it was just a dream, yet feeling like it actually happened in reality, unwilling to wake up….. Its like finding a dead end in the middle of the way, having stepped out of the train while it only stopped due to a cross at the next junction and watching it rush through, having been lost in the middle of nowhere….

Or perhaps its more like being in the present, resented towards one’s own shadows, not knowing what, when, how it would go wrong, yet keeping the faith that it would. As if it is just the jingle of inappropriate words, unhealthily picked, sheepishly delivered, and agonizingly repented, waiting for the outburst. A perfect mix of improbable wrongs! Like the days and nights; love and remorse are ever so distinctively, continually, infinitely scattered.

A definite reluctance to all passions, a slight hint of poorly shrouded misery, an all encapsulating depression!  It’s like being dumb enough to keep track of all the unanswered question. It’s like forgetting the preference between cricket and hockey. It’s like plumbing in the woods or planting on the roof. It is like getting lost in ones own neighborhood. It’s like ordering coffee and expecting tea while reflecting in retrofit whether banana milk shake was a good choice or not.

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